Maxtarbation

A Visualar Spetacular

2009-09-18T23:21:00.002+12:00

I am drawing a comic.
About the bodies immune system.
And its like Star Wars.
Except its not.
Please read it.

its over at my brand new DeviantArt page, just hit up the one, the only, Maxtar01

The Story, A Continuince (Chapter 2?)

2009-04-18T19:17:00.004+12:00

This is an automated notice. Please do not be alarmed.
Needless to say, Mr Primp was nothing short of bemused.
If you feel it is necessary to qualify your existence, please use the handgun to do so.
With this being said, a handgun of indistinguishable origin appeared in the dead Mr Primp’s hand. Quite alarmed with the weapon appearing in his hand, the man tried to drop it to no avail. It was glued seemingly to his digits.
We thank you for not discharging the handgun. Please remain seated.
Mr Primp was now aware he was sitting upright.
The Representatives will come and process you shortly.
Relaxing music began to play from two speakers Mr Primp had just noticed overhead. The some what confused man began to look around. He was sitting on what appeared to a giant block of light. And the walls in which he was enclosed were also made of light. All around him there was light, never growing brighter or dimmer. Although it was remarkable Mr Primp could not but help feel something was wrong, although he could not put his manicured finger on it, it was certainly omniscient. Mr Primp was going to need bigger fingers. However, before Mr Primp could investigate, a ball of light, somewhat of a different shade to the walls but just as bright popped into existence.
Welcome, Lazarus Primp. We are required to ask you if there is anything we can get you at this point in time.
An explanation would be nice, thought Mr Primp, but talking to a ball of light was far beneath him, he would need to talk to a real person first.
It will be done whistled the ball of light and it promptly turned into a man in a business coat.
“Please, do sit down, Mr Primp”
A desk and two chairs that seemed to have escaped Mr Primp’s attention beforehand made them selves known. The Light-Man sat down on one of the chairs as if it was his job to do such a thing.
While certainly being the most open-minded of individuals, Mr Primp had to forcibly move both of his eyebrows down to normal altitudes and take a seat before anything else might happen.
“We are the Representatives. We hope your transaction was uneventful?”
“My... My what?”
The man behind the desk clicked his tongue and leaned over the desk.
“Transaction, meaning the passing of your spirit from the place of living to the Afterlife”
Leaning back in his seat the man asked again,
“We hope your transaction was uneventful?”
Mr. Primp, having never died before, did not know what an uneventful transaction constituted as; a uniform yes was the answer,
“Very good, now I am aware you want an explanation” The man behind the desk said the last word exactly how Mr Primp said it not 45 seconds ago.
“Yes, I would like one right now thank you very mu-“
“What do you need explaining?” interrupted the man, Mr Primp was beginning to miss the Black-Cold-Hotness.
“Where am I?”
“You are in the Afterlife. It is the place where all things go when they die. It is paradise” So far it was just a room of light with an annoying man behind a desk.
“Ooooh-kay” said Mr Primp uncertain of whether he knew exactly where he was, he ventured on.
“What are you?”
“We are the Representatives. We are here to make sure your time spent in the afterlife is a nice time”
“Who do you represent?”
“We Represent your God”
The man said that so matter-of-factly that Mr Primp was a little taken back. Almost like he didn’t expect all this to be concocted by some single Supreme Being. Mulling this over in his head, Mr Primp muttered “That’s all thank you” as if he was miles away from where he wanted to be. In truth he was light years away from where he wanted to be.
“Very good, we will now process you.”
And before one could say “He seems to have died of a massive impact to the head” The man behind the desk was no longer behind the desk, but instead standing before Mr Primp whom was now somehow lying down on a table. This reminded Mr Primp of a movie he had seen once. It ended badly for the person on the table.
“We assure you, this will no be like that movie you saw” said the man, or to be more precise, the man that was now several hundreds of little lights floating about the horizontal Mr Primp. Being quite unsure of what to do the man in question remained motionless much like a dead rabbit on a road, and let the little balls of light do their thing.
The thing in question was beyond his understanding, as the balls of light appeared to be acting like an a marble set, with a light at one end knocking into one light, which in turn knocked into another light. This was being acted out in a spherical shape around Mr Primp. Every now and then a light made a dim noise and turned a different colour, standing out against the rest of surroundings very much how a basketball would be out of place in a cricket game. This process kept going until all the balls of light were an artists idea of beautiful, with various shades of red and green Mr Primp thought should have never existed in the first place.
Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, the balls gathered into the man again, quite unchanged.
“Very Good! You have now been processed. Please follow me”
Mr Primp was now upright. He was also realizing up until now he had been naked in the whole process. Quite embarrassed, Mr Primp tried his best to cover his glory.
The man walked straight into a wall and disappeared. Mr Primp not wanting to remain in this isolated spot for too long, hurriedly walked after the man. Instead of achieving pursuit, he accomplished a wall to the face.
“Please do try and avoid head to wall collisions” said the man, now to Mr Primp’s right. Mr Primp himself gazed at said wall in disbelief, and then at the corridor he was now in. It was still bright, and everything was still made of light, but there was a noticeable depth to the end wall this time.
“Please follow me”
Giving a filthy glare at the menacing wall, Mr Primp continued to follow this man, who remained quiet throughout the whole journey. The corridor was just like the room he had been in before, walls made of light and nothing else in it. This whole “Nothing” theme was becoming peevesome to Mr Primp.
“We are here” The man showed Mr Primp a part of the wall. “This is your sector. Please read the rules and regulations of this sector. If you need anything please call for Us. We hope you enjoy your time in the Afterlife” And with that. The man ceased to exist, and was replaced by light.
Mr Primp looked at the wall and then back at the blank space of light in which the man once resided. Deciding nothing else that could be done was to be done, Mr Primp closed his eyes and stepped into the wall.
With the exact same result before.

A Story (Chapter 1?)

2009-04-16T21:41:00.003+12:00

It was black.
And yet, it wasn’t. It also appeared to be several shades of grey upon closer inspection.
It was also cold.
And yet hot at the same time, both freezing and boiling were strange sensations to experience when you were dead, not that you would care much one would assume. But oddly enough, Lazarus Primp, a man of the highest detail, refused to acknowledge the fact he was dead before he rooted out the source of both the heat and the cold. Mr Primp tried to flail about a bit, but gave up when it wasn’t of any use to him. Primp closed his eyes (or what he imagined to be his eyes, but it didn’t really matter, it was the same blackness and grey where ever he looked, or didn’t) and breathed imaginary air through his imaginary nose and focused on his surroundings. This didn’t help, as he didn’t have any.

10 minutes earlier.
Lazarus Primp of 52 Belletrist Place, Frankstentown was going to be several shades late and several minutes pink by the time he reached his place of work. Although his lateness was becoming less fashionable and more tardy, Mr Primp hated to arrive without a full course of breakfast in his stomach, several mouthfuls of mouth wash in the sink and the dishes washing themselves in his new dishwasher.
Checking his watch for the 35th time that morning, Mr Primp stepped from his nice, charming cottage and began to walk in a westerly direction, his demeanour was nothing like that of a man quarters of an hour late, but rather that of a man walking proudly past houses that were far inferior to that of his own, in fact it was almost exactly like that of a man walking proudly past house that were far inferior than his own, as that was the look he was aiming for.
Mr Primp prided himself on his clean and spotless habits and possessions. Almost to the point of religious fanaticism, but Mr Primp's psychiatrist hadn’t told him that yet, so at this point it didn’t matter to Mr Primp.

8 minutes later
It was still black.
And it was still cold and warm.
By this stage Mr Primp had discerned where he would focus most of his cleaning powers in this chasm (as Mr Primp had noticed the grey regions only occurred on one side, he labelled this area “Up”) when he procured the right tools to do so. Most people would concede that total blackness cannot be cleaned, but Mr Primp didn’t listen to those people, and they weren’t dead with him.
Stop that.
Mr Primp jumped, or at least try to jump, when he heard those words. They were said very clearly, including the period.
We will be with you shortly.
Mr Primp, for the second time in his life, felt intimidated.

2 minutes earlier
Strolling proudly down the road, Mr Primp felt like he usually felt, proud, in control, and most of all, and most importantly to Mr Primp, Smooth, for Mr Primp had been having all sorts of trouble finding the right razor that didn’t stain when he shaved. Nobody else could see it, but Mr Primp saw it when ever he looked into his coffee or in a mirror. The Stains, they tormented him, for not only were they stains, they were also bumpy, and since “Bumpy Stains” is not an official medical diagnosis, Mr Primp could not complain to the Razor companies about the infliction caused by their blades. But at last Mr Primp had found a rare blade blacksmith that agreed to hammer out a blade just for him. It was the smoothest Mr Primp had felt since his skin had been sucked into that vacuum cleaner when he was a small child.
He was so entranced by how smooth his face was that he didn’t notice the lorry-truck moving at terminal speeds approaching him from a southerly direction. The lorry-truck was moving at such speeds due to a mishap the previous night, where the mechanic servicing said vehicle accidentally switched both the accelerate and decelerate pedals. Needless to say he was not a qualified mechanic. How the lorry-truck got to that position at all confused the driver, the mechanic, the mechanic’s lawyer and the jury.
In the last seconds of his life, Mr Primp turned his proud, smooth head towards the lorry-truck.
That’s a rather dirty front-bonnet thought Mr. Primp
It was at this stage that Mr Primp’s skull collided with the lorry-truck, and his proud, smooth skin failed to retain its tension, ejecting fluids some would deem important to human life all over the bonnet of the lorry-truck.
Mr. Primp was dead.

3 minutes later
Mr. Primp was still dead.
And it was still black, cold and hot. This was beginning to irritate Mr Primp. Never had he felt so out of control in his life. Also he had never died before. It was all new experiences for Mr Primp.
Now, dear reader, I don’t think many of you have died before, and if you have, I highly think you should stop reading this and seriously reconsider your priorities. But if you have not died, you would not understand the intense discomfort Mr Primp was feeling as his body was materializing into a foreign environment. A foreign environment many light centuries from Earth. If Mr Primp ever returned to Earth he would most likely describe this intense discomfort as “being administered a lobotomy with a furry medicine ball”, as painful as that sounds, it was rather pleasant at first, followed by the feeling you get when a lobotomy is being administered with a furry medicine ball.
And all too suddenly it was very bright and a moderate temperature.
Welcome, Lazarus Primp of 52 Belletrist Place, Frankstentown, to the after life.

Like an EAGLE!

2009-04-15T10:51:00.004+12:00

My internet sucks, copious amounts of dick. So im just going to post this picture, enjoy.

Finding the edge, the zing, the SPAZZAZ!

2009-01-28T20:47:00.003+13:00

I need a edge, ya see? At the moment its just words words words, not good for the smaller minded individuals out-there! So i think i will provide each post with a drawing, related or what not to the post. Yes... yes thats good.

Wumbo the Elamaphant peeking, nosey bastard aint he?

The Pre-History, Act Two: The Birth of Death, Time, and the Tooth Fairy

2009-01-26T20:54:00.002+13:00

We left the previous act (with a short intermission consisting of cupcakes and tea) with our Universe without “life” (or at least life forms that can laugh at other life forms for not being able to write scripted comedy). In Act Two we continue our historic journey into the first couple millennia of our universe, right up to the creation of our Earth! Riveting stuff, eh?
Right, so here we have a really empty universe, sure its full of rocks, and galaxies bent on killing everything, and it has rainbows… but its empty. Now, Universes thrive on living beings, we are their life blood. When we die, all the energy flows from our body and into the surrounding space, making the universe and the people in the will very happy indeed, deep stuff!

BUT, Our current Universe (lets call him Bob, it’ll get really confusing if I keep calling it Universe) has no living beings living lives and writing wills, so Bob is very un-happy! And like any psycho-pathetic hungry universe, it eats another universe! OM NOM NOM! But its not as simple as eating your neighbour. There is the whole eating bit for one thing, then there is the paper work associated with the hosting of life forms, then you have to go ALL the way to the other end of the void bubble to find a nice cosy spot to live your life, its all one very big headache, and when your something as big as Bob, It’s a big deal.

Well, Bob eventually found a innocent universe with no discernable future at all, and would certainly not fit in today’s (i.e. 15 years before the start of time) rough and tumble void-bubble! Rouge universes gobbling up other universes and not filling out the required paperwork! Golly Gosh! So Bob did Fred Jr. and favour! A very messy and disturbing favour.

Having completed the necessary paperwork and found a sweet little spot on the very edge of our void-bubble, Bob sat down (floated down?) and began the 10 week (by void-bubble terms) process of digesting Fred Jr. and spreading the living love throughout himself. Rather than describe said process, which I’m sure would bore you all, ill tell you what happened to Bob on the outside!

You’d think that once you have eaten another universe, things would be set and good, wouldn’t it? NO. That’s what you get for thinking the void-bubble is a perfect place! Well, Father of Fred Jr., Fred Sr., disgruntled some universe ate his spawn-child, it hunted down Bob to the very corners of the void-bubble! Didn’t take long, there is only one.

So, with some hot-headed body of matter breathing down its neck, Bob was shitting bricks, they may not be the small square things we build barber shops with, but they didn’t know what bricks look like, far as they know, a laptop is kitten on a stick. Rather than empty itself all over the void-bubble, Bob devised a cunning plan to stop Fred Sr. advancing on it! Bob tucked his lower part in and expanded himself! It thought, the bigger I am, the harder it is for me to be eaten! Huzzah for the thought process!

Unfortunately, he didn’t identify that once you got bigger, its very hard to stop expanding, and there is more space for one to start eating at you, and eat Fred Sr. did! It tried chomping, but its hard to do when you haven’t got a mouth or a teeth, it then tried hitting the same spots so it could suck of the eventual gobs of Bob that would float off, but it quite impossible when you haven’t got knuckles, just thumbs that poke straight out, very awkward when answering the phone. So, Fred Sr. settled on latching onto Bob and suck in concentrated spots, sucking the very space out of Bob! That universe is pretty damn determined on getting back Fred Jr., one way or another! This is also how we get the phenomenon known as the “black hole”. A super condensed ball of matter? Pfft, says the scientists maybe.
But, since you aren’t reading this inside of Fred Sr., the technique isn’t working. Nonetheless, Bob has an angry Universe latched onto his side, this in turn gets Bob a bit miffed, here it is, trying to live its life, when it has something on its side eating it! Pah! The Silliness of it all! So, Bob has devised a cunning internal Plan to kill Fred Sr.!

With the Process of Life finished inside of Bob, he could create life when and where he pleased. Firstly, he had a little test run, accidentally created what we would perceive as Satan, all horns, red skin, goats legs, the whole package. Realising the mistake, Bob created a equal to his little abomination, a lot of little equals in fact, because its nameless abomination (nick named the “tooth fairy”, it had very large teeth that floated, and he stills remains nameless because it’s a nick name, not a name. Gosh your so silly!) could move very fast, and its not like Bob had the power to know where it was all the time, It created a lot of little “minders” which latch onto said abomination, making him very slow etc etc.

Now, with a tighter reign on his life creating abilities, Bob set about creating thousands of “perfect worlds”, worlds lush with plant life and docile animals, worlds so perfect they where a shining example planet creation. Earth was among those planets made, of course, it wasn’t called earth, it wasn’t called anything, it was just another planet to Bob.

To keep things in check, to make sure things didn’t spiral out of control when Bob was minding some other part of himself, it created a giant set chains to keep things all slowed down to make things easy for himself, the selfish bugger. We know these chains as “time”, they bind us forever, slowing us to a pace we cannot break. Which means we cant go beyond the speed of time without spontaneously combusting in a shower of seconds (Bob first tried creating a ‘time’ race, beings made of time, but since they cant move faster than time, that is they cant move at all, they spontaneously combusted all the time! It made birthday parties somewhat boring)

Thus is the end of Act Two, In which Bob ate Fred Jr., the Devil was accidentally birthed, and people spontaneously combusted.

Act Three: Giant Cats, the Clicking Toe-nail Fashion, and the Cult of Over-Happy Executives.

The Pre-History, Act One: The Birth of the Universe, Homicides and Survival.

2009-01-26T20:54:00.001+13:00

Contrary to our simplistic beliefs (could something really as complicated as our universe come into existence because something exploded at some point in time or some supreme being willed it to be? Pfft) The Creation of the Universe was not the beginning of Time, (or at least of our time).
You see little girls and boys, when a giant ball of sub-zero nothingness (It exists! Though to be fair, since its nothing, it has no temperature, and it is floating in a giant void of more nothing, so its not exactly sub-zero, but "colder than no temperature" sounds rather silly doesn’t it?) comes into contact with the edge of its own void, which is to say all of the time, it becomes very exposed to incoming matter and radiation from other universe-holding-voids (its very complicated, stay with me here).
Explorers (being the curious creatures they are), having successfully finding there edge of the universe and moved beyond it, got propelled via the void of nothingness (it has that effect on people, not a very social void, it never got to meet other voids as a kid) and ejected from there universe-holding-place (these never really come into existence them selves, they always where and will always be. They sound awfully obnoxious and arrogant don’t they?) And collided into the surface of our little universe-holding-place, when matter comes into contact with such a surface they tend to bond, explosively so.
Imagine an egg; now smash that egg because that was a terrible analogy.
This time, imagine a human ovum, and then a male sperm cell loaded to the teeth with more genetic code than a summer hotel's bed sheets on summer break, and then that egg exploding and lots of little empty babies forming, babies with no soul, or intestines. Yes sir! These are empty Universes!

Now, similar to the fertilising process in humans, whatever matter collided with the void-bubble (FYI I’m calling the Universe-Holding-Place the Void-Bubble now) the matter spreads throughout the universe, often creating sentient beings. The matter that spawned out universes was a hydrogen-metal based sphere, with an excess of helium components (it was very cold where they came from. Who new frozen water was so productive?) Unfortunately these universes are empty! Nothing! Except Hydrogen, Helium, and an oddly large amount of carbon. They are awaiting "fertilisation" This is where this silly thing called the G.O.D rule comes in.

The G.O.D Rule (or The Galaxies Offering a Demise Rule) is the only constant in the entire void-bubble adherence (apart from the other process I mentioned earlier. and rainbows! Every universe has rainbows! They may not be made up of 7 colours, and bleed allot, but they are still rainbows!). I sort of told a white lie when we started this out, when universes are created they are also made alive, with bare survival in mind. (Take THAT religions of the world! WE are parasitic in nature!).
The G.O.D. Rule is a sort of flushing out of universes that can’t sustain galaxies. Those that can’t survive, PERISH. It happens like this, the galaxies are formed, one or two galaxies form inside them, and before one can say "Quantum Theorem my Ass" they start to kill their Universe! (because every one knows Galaxies are homicidal, take a look at ours! always throwing giant lumps of rocks at us, giant hot balls of gas, and giant holes that suck like a hooker on pay day! Oh you’re Many Gods!) those that cant stop there little un-grateful children, eject there little un-grateful children into other Universes, burdening them, unfortunately, they didn’t read this, as they soon died, now I’ve never seen a universe die, but I believe its something along the lines of a MAELSTROM of PURE CHAOS! Or something like that. Those that made it, now have ALOT of Galaxies inside of it, I mean, ALOT, like, ALOT, if I where to say how many, it would occupy about 71.63% of the Internet.

These lucky Universes now occupy most of the void-bubble, almost touching one another. HOWEVER, it’s not over, these galaxies are just empty, lifeless husks of area, no light! No matter! If one where to see our universe at this stage it would look like a blackboard, but unlike a blackboard, it’s full of galaxies! And hydrogen, helium, and magnesium etc etc. these require a separate spark of "life" to harbour planets, suns, or anything mildly complex whatsoever! THAT is where the sentient life forms I mentioned earlier come in, having been ejected from there own void-bubble and in this strange new one, with only rainbows to look forward to, they would be understandably depressed! So whats the easiest way to kill your self? find the nearest galaxy and find its centre, because every body who is anybody knows that the unique properties of the centre of a galaxy kills everything and anything, converting them into "life energy" (the stuff that distinguishes a live person from dead ones), when they are converted, there energy is "carpeted" amongst the whole Universe, like a big energy ripple, very cool.
This Energy finds its way to other galaxies; this provides the much needed "spark" for the creation of stuff we like! Like poetry, sunlight, fingernails, you know the basics. The energy solidifies and forms suns, planets, "source planets" (planets used by the galaxy to fling at other planets, its not like your going to be sitting there letting things spawn and evolve around you would you! Spruce things up! A meteor the size of the heads of the writers from Californication flying at you would definitely lighten the party up) and of course cheese, Natures Fudge!

Thus is the End of Act One, in which The Universi were created, and the galaxies were in-lightened!

Act Two: The Birth of Death, Time, and the Tooth Fairy.

Wacky Idea

2009-01-26T20:51:00.002+13:00

Okay, if you know dick about light, you know glass has a total internal refraction of l24 degrees or so i think, meaning that if light enters glass at an angle of said degrees, at doesnt reflect but refracts back into the glass (thus optic fibre stuff).

So what if one where to make a glass chamber or sphere-ish structure that if light passes into it at the degree of total internal refraction, it stays within the structure, continuisly refracting at 124 degrees.

Now here is my conumdrum, WHERE DOES THE ENERGY GO?
As you know, light is energy, and energy is always constant and never changes in quantity, so it has to go somewhere? the logical explanation is the glass would heat up and eventually melt , but when has logic ever done us good?IF physics were written by me, the glass structure would just simply store the energy (as some sort of potential energy), how awesome would that be?
This means that an unknown amount of energy can be storred in glass, easy enough, we can carry it about like a little power plant, but who to get it out?

One way would chip it with a chipper, sure it might release copius amounts of energy in your face, but hey, least its out.

OR, melt it, and have some sort of energy gathering device handy, like a... wire thing... or something.

OR, drop it, it has all this potential energy stored in it, why not make it gravitational potential energy? make a nice hole in the earth to hide your penny collection.

OR, all that energy will just radiate out of the glass and full YOU with energy, and not that buzz you get when you drink 3 cans of DEMON, probably more like injecting 30 cans of molten DEMON into your skin, how awesome would that be?

OR, the energy would create some sort of super condensed energy ball, ans since its super condensed, it would tear you apart, now why not harness that tearing power, and build spaceships! Monoliths! An easier way to open plastic containers!

In conclusion, glass can kill you.

Inter-Galactical Thumb Day

2009-01-26T20:50:00.003+13:00

I have decided that the thumb is greatly under-appreciated in the universe (though the debate whether aliens have thumbs, if no hands at all, still rages. And whether they use our dating system, and not one based on the life of a local star or nebula near by.) and thay have to be worshipped, coveted and any other of the 7 sins or the new 7 fangled sins apply to our glourious 5th phallange!

And so, I bestow the date 30th of Feburary to be Inter-Galactical Thumb Day! (hell, the japanese made a tom-cruise holiday, and he is totaly off the charts)

Let me explain why i chose this day, deeply meaningfull, and meaningfully deep.

You see, the 30th of Feb is like your thumb, you only notice its full potential every now and than, that it completes your whole hand, and that its totaly awesome. But come the next day, the thumb is no longer appreciated and doing menial tasks.

"But Maxtar, you son of a genius" you all say "What shall we do on the Quad-Annual Inter-Galactical Thumb Day?"
Hm, good question. Id like to think that Thumb-Balloons would smatter the air above peoples heads, little children will suck Thumbsicils, while waiting for Lord Thumbdisius to bring them Thumb-presents, neccesitys for there thumbs, and staring wide-eyed at the adventures of MuaThumb'dib (In no-way related to Dune by whats-his-name-whom-writes-a-good-damn-book), the wild shenanigins of the Three Thumbudies, and the Thumb-chilling stories of the Reaper Thumb, One who takes away people miss-treating there Thumbs to the CitiThumbidal and turn them into Thumb-peons, doing the tasks Thumbs would do.
And for the adults, Global Thumb-wrestles and reality-Thumb-shows will dominate tv, and Thumb-vendors will give away free Thumbs!

And the word "thumb" will be replaced by "Thumb", and leaders will be given the title "Your Thumbiness" and there will be Thumbdoos, with the Thumbs of animals be dipped in sweet sauce. And the Thumb-parties, the glorious Thumb-parties, with Thumby songs and drinks.

And from then on, Life, would officially be sweet. Thumbily sweet.

Oh, and the Chinese Government seemingly hates the Internet.
Im voicing my opinion, na na na na na na!

Longest text I have ever sent

2009-01-26T20:49:00.003+13:00

The other day i was having a conversation with a friend about, conversations.

It started with me saying that he was not very talkative, he said how so, i said that he often made no attempt at lengthening a conversation, he said you dont either, i said i do, he said i dont, i wittily replied i do, he said how, i said that i say 'indeed' after all ceonversation has dried up, which is my desperate ettemp-th at lenghtening the said conversation, to which he had nothing to reply, so i said indeed, he said try not to repet your self, it ruins the conversation, to which i thoghtfully replied:

But, what truly is a conversation? Is it the conversation between to entities? So therefore can comouters hold viable conversations with one another? But they are not living, can not make decisions for them selves, they are slaves, told to do what we tell them to do.

He said: Exactely. To have a conversation you must have independant thought.

I said: Or, do you need a script, a code, by which you can derive answers from, much like computer AI in games, they seem to reason and think for themselves, although they are told to do so. And so, is there just some giant text-document in the universe full of all the possible combinations we can answer to in a conversation? Or do we each hold a independent, evolving script, based around on what we do or think? You say we need independant thought, waht about people ruled by a totalitariest goverment or ruler? They dont have independant thought, they are more like scripted-entities than humans, running a script programmed for them, yet they still hold conversations? Then what about dogs, ants, flowers, they have independant thought, although sometimes very small ones. Surely they can have conversations?

He replied: They can have exchanges of words (flowers cant talk, by the way) but true conversations require independant thought

I said: Says who?
by this stage he was leefing through a dictionary

Unfortunately, some twat from oxford begged to differ

-- end transmission--

A mildly interesting post about condoms

2009-01-26T20:43:00.006+13:00

Condoms, are awesome.

Lets face it, they are usefull, are educational, and have great names like "french tickler"
Also, they get people who think they dont work (there name escapes me at the moment) all riled up, and makes them go red in the face when they say they would rather had no condoms, to which i would reply; 'so you would prefer herpes instead?'
I russled up some startistics about latex condoms (AKA, first thing on google):

1. Condoms are 98% effective when used correctly.
(which makes me think of all the inapropiate uses for condoms, sausage baloon any one?)
2. The average failure rate for condoms is 12%: reflective of people who do not use them properly or do not use them every time they have intercourse.
3. Laboratory tests show that neither sperm, which has a diameter of 3 microns, nor STD-causing organisms, which are a quarter to a ninth the size of sperm, can penetrate an intact latex condom.
4. If there is a leak in more than 4 per 1,000 condoms, the entire lot (approximately 5,000) is discarded.
now how reassuring is that?
www.condomdepot.com/learn/stats.cfm
(how awesome is that sitename?)

Condoms, if used right, condoms can protect oneself from biological nasties like HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, and syphilis etc

so, wear a condom why dont you?

This is the First Post

2009-01-26T20:16:00.000+13:00

As the title says, this is the very first post (on this blog anyway) and ill just be importing the notable stuff here, leaving the shleck back at bebo.